umberella man

Do you know what's more irritating than being sent on an out-station assignment without prior notice, while your classes are on? It is getting stuck in a downpour while you're on that assignment and the people who sent you there think all is well. Bombay has always been one of my favourite places but that claim was really put to the test the day before yesterday. I had woken up at 4 that morning, caught a flight that was delayed by an hour and a half, worked all day and was trying to get back to the guest house (15 minutes walk) when I discovered it was pouring so heavily that it was hard to see what was in front. I tried calling the driver of the car which had transported us from the airport to the office earlier that day but he (quite obviously) was not reachable. My friends at the client office could not come up with a better solution than a 'call taxi' which would take at least two hours to reach where we were. So my friend and I decided to try our luck with an auto. The fact that they hardly agree to some destination which is just 2 kms away was not very encouraging but the heavy downpour set-off the effect of any such facts. We waited for twenty minutes, for an auto to drive by the lobby of the bulding, which was around 20 metres from the main road before we realized it wasn't going to happen. We hopped on to the main road, right under the rain, out of sheer desperation. My friend, who is with me on this assignment had managed to find shelter under a huge beach umberella of this guy selling omlettes. He was constantly pestering me to join him under the umberella even though both of us knew there was no place there for even the bacteria that was cooking in those omlettes. I was drenched to my bone marrow. Since things couldn't get worse, I decided to stay where I was.
If India wants to host the 2020 Summer Olympic Games, I suggest Bombay is THE city that should host it. I mean, have you seen the competitive spirit of the people here?!! Everytime I managed to holler an autorickshaw, out popped a zorro, or a spiderman or a catwoman, as atheletic as the comic book characters and hopped right into the rick while muttering where they wanted to go. They didn't care what the driver had to say! Once they were in, they were in. After such a thing happened for the fourth time I realized all I was doing was hollering autos for them as they stood under the shelter of some tree. My friend was having quite a laugh at all this though. Please do not blame me for losing it at this point, because the moment I realized my leather shoes were wet, I lost it! It was nothing else, not the rain, not the people, nothing else. Just my shoes. I started walking, in the opposite direction of my guest house. I didn't want an auto anymore, I didn't want to go back to the guest house anymore, I didn't even want to go to a restaurant to eat. I just wanted an umberella. There was a Ganesh procession headed towards the beach which I passed and they were chanting "Ganapati Bappa Moriya!!" and that was when, my faith in God and myself was reinstated in all it's power. I prayed to the almighty that he give me an umberella as he had given me this downpour to start with... on I walked, convinced I was going to find an umberella. Sure enough, I walked into "Madhuri Collections", dripping wet, and enquired with the old man at the counter
"Bhai sahb, chhatri hai?" (Do you sell umberellas, sir?)
He started laughing at me, it must have seemed strange to him as to why I was asking for an umberella when I was soaked already. He handed one to me and asked
"yeh chalega ki aur mehnga waala chahiye?" (Will this do you need something costlier?)
I had not even enquired about the price until then.
"Kitne ka hai?" (how much) I asked. And this is why I have named this post so :
"Sau Rupiya" (100 Rupees)
"Bahut zyaada hai!!" (that is too much!)
"Baahar baarish bhi bahut zyaada hai" (so is the downpour outside)
I laughed, because I didn't know what to do and replied "Arey dekho dekho! abhi thoda kam ho gayaa hai!!" (look! the rainfall has slowed down a little too!)
"Assi rupay de do" (give me 80 rupees)
I bought two, for a hundred and fifty, feeling cheated, I opened my new umberella and cursed it. Before leaving, I asked that old man his name, which got him quite perplexed. I did it just so that I could caution you all against him. His name is Ratnakar. So if you meet a guy selling umberellas and his name is Ratnakar, please wait till the rain recedes a little so you could get a better bargain.
My friend had called me around 5 times by then but I never picked up. I walked back to where he was standing, absolutely dry and threw one umberella at him. "Tu bhi hero ban gaya re!" (now, you're a hero too!) he said. I knew he meant it when he told me about how much verbal abuse he'd had to face from that guy selling omlettes because he didn't buy one. So there I was, walking under an umberella, for the first time in 15 years, my faith in myself stronger than ever and my faith in God, stronger still. I didn't even catch a cold the next day. I still love coming to Bombay and now that I have an umberella, bring on the rains!